If you take a look at our youth of today you can’t help but notice that they are the most disrespectful group of children this world has ever seen ...... Why?
Let's think about it for a while!
There's a lot of truth in the old saying 'The Devil makes work for idle hands'
Today's youth, don't get involved with scouting, sport or adventure clubs.
Today's recreation is Play Station etc, cell phone, chat forums, blaring music, junk food, Soda, ice-cream (no wonder our kids are Hyper-active)
Boredom leads to Apathy, Apathy leads to Contempt, Comtempt leads to Rebellion and Rebellion leads to Destructfulness.
ie. Boredom invariably leads to Distructive tendencies.
But it's not just boredom, we ourselves are partly to blame.
Before you start pointing fingers or making excuses as to why children are this way I want you to stop and look in the mirror.
What are you doing to teach your child/children respect?
I watch the way people interact with one another and towards one another. This includes children and adults.
I believe one of the problems is that parents do not respect their children and therefore children not only don’t respect their parents, they have no respect for anyone including themselves.
I am not saying that you don’t love your children or that you are a bad parent.
I'm simply saying that maybe as parents we aren’t paying attention to the way we interact with our children.
The best way to teach respect is show respect, not just to other adults but to your children.
Don’t confuse obedience with respect, fear also instills obedience.
If a child is not respectful at home, they are not going to be respectful outside of the home
When your child talks to you are you listening? or are you busy doing five other things
Listen to what they are saying. Pay attention to what they are doing.
Make eye contact with them, how many times have you said "Look at me when I am talking to you,"
If you let them know they are important enough to pay attention to, then they will do the same to you and others.
If you make a mistake, admit it and apologise, it may change a child's perception of you, that (in fact) you're not perfect, but it will show that everyone makes mistakes and when they do they are truthful about it and admit it.
Once parents have captured the hearts of their children through love and discipline they are ready to accept their instruction.
Children of parents who have won their hearts will learn, more or less by osmosis, the character of their parents.
If the parents have not won their hearts, they will absorb the character of the peer group with which they identify and the leaders whom they admire.
It is difficult for a rebellious parent to teach a child not to be rebellious or to teach qualities that the parents themselves don't have.
Use the acronym READ as a basis for our character instruction
Respect for authority,
Esteem others as better than yourself,
Admit when you are wrong, and
Diligence in all things
A child shows lack of respect for adults by interrupting adult conversations, this is often done by pulling continuously on Mother's arm while saying, "Mommie, Mommie, Mommie, Mommie, Mommie," repeatedly until Mommie gives the child her undivided attention.
The tragedy is that most parents are oblivious to this very prevalent way of showing disrespect to adults, and they will generally acknowledge the child immediately, even doing so when their adult friend is in mid-sentence.
A child who has something to say to a parent who is engaged in conversation should be trained to come and stand quietly beside his parent, making sure that his parent sees them.
At an appropriate time after the other party has completed a thought, the parent can say, "Excuse me one moment," and turn and acknowledge the child, who has been waiting patiently. After answering the child's question, the adult conversation can be resumed. The child's concern has been addressed, but at the parents discretion, not the child's.
A growing lack of adult authority has bred a 'spoilt generation' of children who believe grown-ups must earn their respect.
The rise of the 'little emperor' spans the class divide and is fuelling ills from childhood obesity to teenage pregnancy
Attempts to 'empower' children and a lack of discipline in the classroom have also fostered rising levels of violence, at home, at school and in the street.
Children are becoming increasingly violent and disrespectful towards their teachers, 'parent battering' is on the rise and
the number of policemen attacked by children is soaring.
Children of the spoilt generation are used to having their demands met by their parents and others in authority this has consequences in every area of society,
from the classroom to the workplace, the streets to the criminal courts and rehabilitation clinics.
These consequences are measurable - Britain now has the highest rates of child depression, child-on-child murder, underage pregnancy, obesity, violent and antisocial behaviour and pre-teen alcoholism since records began.
Some children thought to have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder might simply have never learnt how to behave?
Parents sometimes cannot invest the time in their kids that they should, when parents are out at work all the time their children are turning to peer groups to provide them with the family they need.
Have we been more concerned with becoming an affluent, successful country at the expense of investing in our family and our children?
Probably one of the most widespread social problems of our day is the lack of respect for authority.
This is blatantly evident in the youth culture of today and is often being re-enforced by TV programs and music lyrics.
We should not be surprised at this, as we are now the 2nd generation since the 60's sexual and drug revolution across the world, and we are reaping the harvest that our parents sowed.
In the 60's and 70's there was a massive shift in society values and core beliefs were thrown out and replaced by the philosophy of 'If it feels good do it'
There is little doubt that these actions were inspired by evil forces that are at work in the earth today.
Forces that are hell-bent on throwing out all God-ordained authority figures and replacing them with their own rule.
This is simply a continuation of the age old battle between good and evil that has been waged since the begining of time.
When chaos rules it becomes the 'law of the jungle' and only the strong survive.
Personal rights and liberties are lost and the person who has the biggest gun tells you how to live your life.
Respect for authority begins in the home, if your children are not taught to show respect for their parents then they will certainly not show respect for the authorities within government or the church etc.
It is easier for children to show respect to their parents if their parents are loving, fair and compassionate toward them.
The parents also need to practise what they preach if they are to have credibility in the children's eyes.
Teach your children to honour and respect the authorities in their lives, whether it be teachers, government, police or church authorities. Children do not always accept or understand logical reasoning.
Parents always wonder what kind of adults their children will grow up to be. Ultimately the person your child will become depends a lot on how you raise them.
If you discipline your child and teach him what is right and wrong then your child will grow up to respect authority, rules, and the like.
However, if you do not discipline your child he will grow up with no real respect for authority or what is right and wrong.
There are many other things that can happen to your children as a result of not being disciplined.
They may begin using alcohol and drugs at an earlier age, start hanging out with the wrong crowd, and exhibit all around poor behavior and bad choices.
So, discipline your children to give them the best chance in life.
What Is Respect:
Respect means a lot of different things.
On a practical level it includes taking someone's feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas, wishes and preferences into consideration.
We might also say it means taking all of these seriously and giving them worth and value.
In fact, giving someone respect is similar to valuing them and their thoughts, feelings, etc.
It also includes acknowledging them, listening to them, being truthful with them, and accepting their individuality and idiosyncrasies.
Respect is like a boomerang in the sense that you must send it out before it will come back to you.
Showing and Earning Respect:
For this process to work efficiently several things are required.
For example:
1. Each person must be aware of their own feelings; i.e. know how they feel.
2. They must be able to express their feelings.
3. They must know how to listen non-judgmentally & non-defensively.
4. They must know how to validate feelings.
5. They must believe that feelings have value.
6. They must believe that feelings matter.
Give your children the opportunity to solve their own problems without underestimating them,
in particular:
1. Avoid telling them what to do
2. Avoid telling them what they 'need' to or 'should do
3. Avoid giving them unsolicited advice, sermons and lectures
Remember that the most effective way of finding out how well your efforts are working is to simply ask, "On a scale of 1 -10, how do you feel that I respect you?"
If you have created a safe environment, you are likely to get an honest answer.
Then if it is lower than 10, you can ask,
"What would help you feel more respected?"
Then you have the specific information you need to improve your 'rating.'
people are more than willing to express themselves when asked such a question.
And the answers are typically articulate, and more than often very surprising.
Teach respect - Start today!
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